a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME OF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
FUCKING TRY I DARE YOU
ITS IMPOSSIBLE AND ITS REALLY FUCKING WITH MY MIND SOMEONE HUG ME
I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER
H E L P
Holy shit whispering is the same volume as shouting as loud as I can
what have you done
We think in concepts
Concepts have no volume
Because a thought is the loudest silence of all.
whoa there socrates
yes im a boy
yes i knit things
This guy should be some crazy DC villain…
OH MY GOD YES PLEASE.
oh god someone do this
GET ON IT
I think I’ll call him… THE KNITTER!
He robs banks with the help of his little quilted monsters
can anyone put an end to his reign of warm and cozy terror!?
OMG YES ITS BACK
you know that thing where you scrunch up your arms and it looks like you have only hands well this one time when i was little i kept it up for 3 days no matter where i was
one time i also pissed off my entire family for 3 days
the last picture i cANT BREATHE
what happened in roughly 1870 though
why was there temporary internet
with a few people searching for pokemon?
when steve rogers sleeps for 70 years he’s hailed “a hero” and “an icon” but when i take a five hour nap my mom says i’m “lazy” and “need to find better ways to spend my time” such bullshit
the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along
So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…
The times these characters were mentioned in the first book
Harry, you attention seeking fuck.
#yeah man he acts like the whole books about him or somethin (via bratty-kouhai)
wand and hogwarts are considered characters.